Thor Returns to the Petstore
by Shipperwolf
Summary: Thor returns to earth only to realize he has terrible timing. Sweet silliness ensues.
1. To the Petstore!

Okay, here's another attempt at a silly T/J fic!

It's a two-shot, but truly, I'm just having some fun.

Please RnR and let me know if things seem too...uncharacteristic.

I disclaim all!

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><p>Of all the days for the Bifrost to be repaired…<p>

Of all the days to return to earth…

Of all the days to see Jane once again…

Thor just had to show up two days after her birthday.

The Asgardian had taken his time, strolling though the small town Jane called home. He had needed as much time as possible to think of the best apology to make up for his late return.

It had taken five months in earth time to repair the bridge that he himself had destroyed. He had even helped repair it himself…..anything to ensure he did not break his word to Jane.

And although he truly had not—after all, he was back—he still felt extreme remorse for taking so long. He suspected Jane would have lost faith in him...

And so he had walked slowly into town instead of flown.

Darcy had spotted him halfway to Jane's dwelling.

After a rather excited greeting (the girl hugged him without a second thought) she proceeded to inform him of Jane's recent celebration of her day of birth.

Darcy also informed him that Jane had not enjoyed it nearly as much as she should have.

She missed him.

He swallowed hard at her words. His regret was raised to new heights.

But at least he could try to make up for it now.

He had asked Darcy not to tell Jane of his return, and although she tried to protest, he'd insisted.

He wanted to surprise her.

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><p>Now, standing on the sidewalk of the tiny desert-town, Thor regretted letting Darcy leave his side. He had decided he would bring Jane a gift to apologize for both his tardiness and missing her celebration, but now he was at a loss as to what to get her.<p>

He could always go back to Asgard. Surely he could find an extravagant gift for her there—something golden, shining, perhaps with precious gems?

_No, no….that won't do…._

Jane was not like the other women he'd courted (and could he even say that he was _courting_ her? What _was_ he doing exactly?)—he would not give her the same manner of gifts he had given them—an expression of his wealth and power….

No, that was not what he wanted to express to Jane.

He wanted to show her that she was in fact different, but in the best way possible.

He wanted to show her that he was not just Thor the thunder god, the great Asgardian warrior, the heir to the throne of a powerful people.

He wanted to show her that he could also be….

Gentle? Loving?

Did he _love _her?

His blond hair fell into his eyes as he shook his head to himself.

He did not know the answer to that question any more than he knew what to bring to her for her birthday.

So….no gems, no gold, no gift from Asgard. A gift from earth would have to do…

But what?

He looked around, noting that several people were stopping on the walkway to smile or wave at him. How impolite, he had not even given them notice.

He smiled and waved back.

And that's when he saw it:

A mortal couple walking out of a store, the woman holding a tiny animal in her arms. The man smiled triumphantly at her and leaned in to both kiss the woman and pat the animal on its head.

He remembered it now….

The "Pet Store".

_Perfect._

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><p>The bell hanging on the door <em>dinged<em> as he entered the shop. Animals made noises around him. Some were more pleasant than others. The boy he had inquired before stared at him with less apathy now than he had previously. Thor looked down at himself.

He was wearing his armor and wielding Mjolnir at his side.

The young man was right to give him due attention this time.

"I require one of the dogs, cats or birds you mentioned many months ago."

There, he felt accomplished now. The boy would surely…

"Okay, which one?"

Thor felt his heart sink.

"Pardon?"

The boy shook his head, smirking slightly.

"Which one do you want? A dog, a cat or a bird? What breed do you want? What age? What color?" His voice seethed with both amusement and annoyance.

Was the brat enjoying this?

Thor looked around the store at the various animals. Some were curled asleep in the corners of their cages, some stood tall and made loud, defensive yelps in his direction, some wagged their tails and some preened their feathers before eyeing him with cocked heads.

He felt overwhelmed.

So he gave in.

"What….what do you think would be appropriate as a gift for a woman?"

The young man grinned at him now.

"I'll have you know you're talking to the expert in that area, big guy."

Thor truly doubted that.

But he let the boy guide him around the store nonetheless.

He only hoped he did not regret accepting the assistance of this impudent brat in the future…


	2. Rooftop Breather

And, chapter two is up!

You will find it is quite a bit shorter than the 1st...I'm sorry. I just got to a point where I felt I needed to stop. I had also meant for this to just be a two-parter. Looks like it's shootin' for 3 ;)

This fic IS meant to be kind of silly, but this chapter is a bit somber and I hope it doesn't ruin the mood. I promise to end the fic with sweet silly Thor-ness!

Cuz come on, silly-Thor is AWSOME-Thor. :D

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><p>It was only mid-afternoon, but the day had been a long one so far and Jane felt the need for a rooftop escape.<p>

The fire that flickered drew her gaze and, as it had many times before, allowed her to relax and let her mind wander.

Darcy had taken off an hour before to finish a paper for school, and Eric had been M.I.A since being called in for an impromptu meeting with the man known as Nick Fury (Jane had noticed this happening more and more often as of late).

She was alone.

Maybe it was better to be so- she needed the silence after what she felt was an unnecessary surprise birthday party Darcy had thrown for her two days ago. She had even gone so far as to string up decorations around their lab and invite random people she had never seen before.

The fire crackled and Jane suppressed a sigh.

The only good thing that came out of that night was cake and the opportunity to meet Tony Stark. The man had shown up out of nowhere and handed her his assistant's business card.

"_Fury's got me out of the loop right now, but if you need anything, I'll be happy to ignore him and sneak back into it." _

She'd been surprised at his boyish attitude—it completely contradicted the image she had concocted of him since watching his exploits as Iron Man on the news.

How could someone so powerful and heroic be so immature?

_Right…._

Apparently it was a trend.

Only _her _powerful hero wasn't quite that immature.

Jane could only guess why Nick Fury had kept that man "out of the loop".

Her neck popped slightly and Jane rolled her shoulders, noting their stiffness.

The stress of the past five months was catching up to her.

Sometimes, late at night, she would try to convince herself that everything that had happened was just a dream. The chaos that had ensued since Thor's departure seemed to blur her world into a fog that haunted her in her sleep.

And then she would wake up to the sound of Agent Coulson knocking on her trailer door at five in the morning to ask how her research was progressing.

She had grown to like Coulson (as much as a no-nonsense representative of a top-secret organization _could_ be liked), but sometimes it was just too much.

Sometimes she just wanted to meet him at the door with a flyswatter and tell him to "Shoo."

Another small pop of her shoulders and even with the sunlight still bearing down onto the rooftop, Jane was ready to lean back and take a breather.

And then…

As if on cue…

Metallic knocking sounded from below.

Jane's eyes rolled even as she shut them in frustration.

Coulson, really?

At 4 o'clock in the afternoon?

The banging was louder than usual, too. What, did he think she had suddenly made a breakthrough in the past 12 hours?

"_Easy, girl. Just put on the smile and tell him to check back in later."_

And then the knocking stopped.

A sound akin to a hollow wind whispering through metal met her ears.

A soft thud behind her lawn chair immediately followed.

The shadow she could see looming over her had her heart pounding so hard she felt it would burst. Coulson's hair was not that long….

"Hello, Jane."

Her day was suddenly SO much better.


	3. Thor, Jane and the Furry Infant

FINAL CHAPTER! W00T, I actually finished a multi-chapter fic! This is actually a tremendous accomplishment for me ^.^

Hope you all enjoyed this little mini-adventure of Thor's!

See End Notes for more rambling! ;)

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><p>"I cannot believe that I just bartered my helm away for you, creature. You had best hope Jane finds you as adorable as I."<p>

Thor shifted the tiny animal, and it emitted a small sound in response to his voice. He had detached the cape from his armor and bundled it in his arms, and the furry infant had burrowed its way within the soft crimson fabric. The thunder god both smiled and shook his head.

He did not know if the thing was afraid of him, or of the attention surrounding him as he made his way back through town towards Jane's home.

Mid-afternoon had set, and Thor realized he had taken more time in the pet store than he had initially anticipated.

It had taken him some time to choose amongst the various furry and feathered companions being shown to him. And when he had finally settled, when he was confident he had found the perfect gift, the perfect companion for his mortal friend (or…whatever else Jane was…or could be….), he had run into a separate problem.

Compensation.

The boy had come dangerously close to enraging him when Thor had declared he had no 'dollars' to pay him with.

The brat had _laughed_ at him. And refused to give up the creature.

And then, upon reflection, Thor looked down at the countertop and noticed something striking. Despite this boy's arrogance…

He had an apparent interest in Asgaard.

A colorful booklet rested amongst the scattered mess that was the counter, and on the cover, Thor could easily make out what was supposed to be an artist's rendition of himself. His father Odin was portrayed as well. Thor saw his name in bold and exciting letters. Was this the 'comic' Darcy had mentioned?

Tapping his head, an idea struck him. The cool metal of his battle helm met his fingers and Thor remembered he had worn it to…well…make a good impression when offering his apologies to Jane.

He offered the golden helmet to the boy as a form of payment.

And walked out of the store victorious.

Now making his way to the edge of town, Thor smiled to himself and gently shifted the animal again.

There was no battle his might could not win.

The silver gleam of Jane's 'trailer' met his eye.

Finally.

He would see her again.

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><p>"Hello, Jane."<p>

His grin grew toothy as she sprung from her place in the 'lawn chair', whirling around to meet his eyes.

His smile conveyed sheer joy, yet his heart thudded against the inside of his chest. When had he become so nervous? When did he _ever _become nervous?

Since Jane Foster had humbled him with her strong will and brilliant eyes.

She was against him before he could blink, arms wrapped around his shoulders, tangling together behind his neck.

With her adorably short stature, he knew she was on the tips of her toes, reaching high to press her cheek into the curve of his neck.

She smelled faintly of the smoke from the nearby fire, and also of the cleanser she used in her hair. Shampoo, they called it? It smelled like flowers.

Thor wondered if he was getting dizzy from the scent or from the pure pleasure of being able to see and touch her again.

Probably both.

His free arm wrapped around her waist, and his eyes roamed when she pulled back to look at him. He was relieved to see her smiling. A blush had formed on her cheeks.

Her head ducked slightly to hide it.

He loved it when she did that….

"Hi…" Her voice came out small, and in it he could hear her own nerves.

He did not fight the chuckle when it threatened to form in his throat.

"Jane…it is good to see you again. I'm sorry to have taken so long to return…more sorry than you could know. And while I have an explanation…it does not excuse my tardiness entirely…."

Even as he spoke she was shaking her head, her smile growing.

"Thor, I'm just happy that…."

He saw her freeze when a sound was emitted from within his cape. Movement against her arm caused her to jump back slightly. It was only then she had taken notice of what he had in his arms.

"Do not be alarmed. I met Darcy in town, and she told me you had celebrated your day of birth recently. I regret missing this important day, so much that I could not face you empty-handed. I brought this for you...a gift…" He unfolded the red cloth.

The orange and white kitten that poked its head from its hiding place squinted in the sudden light.

Thor smiled when Jane's hands immediately moved forward to pick it up.

She laughed slightly when it mewled at the contact.

"Thor…where did you...?" The question in her eyes was not condemning, but he felt obligated to explain nonetheless.

"The pet store, of course. I assure you, I did not take it without payment. The boy told me that women adored tiny animals. He said this was…a kitten? Does it please you?"

Never before had the mighty god of thunder asked anyone such a question.

Before his time on earth, doing so would have bothered him greatly.

But not now…not with Jane Foster's brown eyes softening at his apparent unease.

"It's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I love him." Her eyes never left his, and for a moment Thor wondered which 'him' she was talking about….

Steadying the tiny kitten against her shoulder, she leaned forward and he welcomed her brief but searing kiss.

His teeth flashed. He had done well.

"So…what shall you call him?"

He reached forward to run a finger along the animal's head, and it mewled again before reaching a paw into the air to bat at it.

Jane seemed to be pondering his question, and in the minute it took her to decide, the kitten had crawled onto her shoulder to gain a better vantage point from which to spar with Thor's hand. The small claws pricked his skin.

He liked the creature's spirit.

"Lion-O."

He had begun re-attaching his cape to his armor when the strange title left her mouth.

It was unlike any name he had heard during his time on Midgaard.

The look he gave her must have been quizzical. Her laugh was easy and her skin warm when she took his hand.

"Come on. We'll need to call Coulson and let him know you're here. And while we're waiting, I can introduce you to one of my favorite old T.V shows."

Ah, the 'television'. He remembered the fascinating invention from before, in the 'diner' where he had sampled….

"Will there be coffee?"

**_End._**

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><p>End Notes: Okay, quick trivia! Can anyone tell me <em>why <em>Jane named the kitten Lion-O? It's a very silly reason, but if you think about it you'll get it! Review and let me know what you think!


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